Too good?

I cringe to think that everything went so well this week and last, every time I think something is going very well, it all goes to hell.  I need to slow myself down and continue to work one day at a time.  I know I got  a little tired on Thurs/Fri and was starting to get into a funk but I stopped and took a nap Fri afternoon and boy did I need it, 4+ hours helped amazingly  I then took my time on Saturday and didn't do much at all, I did work and did write a list of things I really wanted to do this weekend if possible.  I can say that I did everything on my list but I've been doing it in a very relaxing way.  I'm trying not to over do and/or get over confident because it always comes crashing down on me.  So I listened to my friend and talked through what I will be teaching tomorrow so that doesn't go poorly,I feel good about tomorrow.  I will be going  to bed early and read my book a bit.  I will do this, I will, tomorrow will go well/smoothly.

I also took the time to go to Church last night and received a wonderful message to keep working on what God wants and be a good witness to what he does.  I need to grow roots and I can't do it quickly or put pressures on myself and live up to unreal expectations, I would only be setting myself up for failure.  Slow and steady, I will continue to grow roots

Don't worry, be happpy!

yes, it's a corny 80's song but it just sums up how I feel lately

There are so many things to be happy about:
1.  MY JOB
     I worked today, I caught my error from yesterday before anyone noticed...I think. I did what I needed to do in the time that I am supposed to do it in.  I don't believe I made any errors but then again, I thought didn't yesterday either.  I was able to be home early enough to go for a bike ride and then go swimming with Brayden in our pool.  Okay, I admit it, I didn't swim but I was lying on the floaty IN the pool. I also am teaching English and loving my 2 regular students!

2.  My FAMILY
     I am finally starting to enjoy my family and they are starting to enjoy me also. I'm getting help from the boys and Leah with different chores around the house .  Breanna doesn't need the kind of motivation that I'm having to do with the others, she just does what I ask her.  I finally feel comfortable being their mom and not their friend.  I can discipline without feeling like a "mean" mom.  Mainly because I"m not yelling.  I love not yelling.  I love being able to "hold it together".

3.  MY HUSBAND
      I finally feel like I'm giving equal effort to our relationship as he has been giving me.  I'm returning the amount of love that he has given me in the last 3 years especially that he showed me when I was struggling so.

4.  MY HOUSE
     My house is clean, the floors are clean...75% of the time.  My laundry is not filling the laundry room.  The kitchen is 80% clean 90% of the time.

5.  MY BRAIN
     I feel like I have finally figured out what I need and when I need it so that I don't have "meltdowns" And I realize that when it does happen I need to not get down on myself but consider it a learning experience and learn from it so that I don't do it again.

As I finish this I think somebody might think, well duh...for the bulk of this blog but it makes me happy just writing this down.  I won't credit this to me or anyone else but GOD, he is helping me and if I remember to listen I will be able to continue being happy.

Happy

I have been struggling the last few days with my mood.  I so badly want to better but maybe I just need to be myself...

Yesterday was an excellent example.  I took the boys to the Y for Sunday school and spent the day with many of my former students and their kids, talk about weird.  That's what happens when you teach for 25 years.  I was scared to try anything because I was soooo tired and didn't want to push too hard because I worked today.  I did finally go and put my suit on and tried to sit in the hot tub...too hot maybe lasted 15 minutes, then I remembered I had my tennis shoes in the car and could walk but I just was too unable to do this.  I know a few years ago I wouldn't have passed up the chance to be at the Y and workout.  I was angry at myself for not working out but I was even too tired to be mad.

I came home to a pigsty...It took me an hour to clean the house that I had left at 9:00 that morning.  Of course this was while I was being serenaded by Jerome's snores!! I wasn't a happy momma.  I made supper, grilled cheese and soup.  I then got to sit and watch tv which Jerome was in control of...yay...I love pawn stars!!!

I then got the kids in bed and got to use the computer and was able to setup a "date" with my nieces for the movie "God's Not Dead" on Tuesday.  I'm very excited to go with those two young ladies that like me...lol...Leah said she'd go if she didn't have to sit by me...:)

Today was very good! I think I'm getting settled in my new job and it could be worse, I could still be screwing up daily.  I need to lose some weight but even that I can handle. My new outfit looked good today and I felt better because of that.  Charlie did tell me I didn't look too good but he quickly shut up when I gave him "the look" It was just too funny...I love my coworkers, I love working by myself after all have left.

I need to remember that I'm going to have down days but it could always be worse, I could still be trying to managing sophomore boys daily.  Just can't let the little things get me down and I need to stop comparing my life today to my life 5 years ago...Life is good, I need to be happy, I AM happy!