My therapist said that I should avoid napping during the day as it's probably interfering with my sleep at night. I'm also taking a medication at night that helps me sleep better. I didn't take that pill last night as a test to see if I really needed it because I was very tired and thought it would be a good time to try since I didn't need to get up this morning. Well, I need the pill. I didn't sleep horribly last night. I sat down today to read a book and ended up taking a nap. I was mad at myself. I had big plans for today, making cookies, cooking soup, cleaning, etc. I did manage two of the three but I had to do them while watching the football game. Oh well, they aren't doing very well anyway.
I'm thinking I "want" to sleep and I don't "need" to sleep and maybe it's depression, I know that is my issue with my weight but am going to get that into control soon too, if my tough love friend helps :) Breanna says I used to nap before but I doubt that, I remember naps giving me issues with night time sleep but I don't remember naps. I think I analyze everything that I think I do "wrong", on one hand that's bad but on the other hand it's good because I think I am able to look at how I do things with a good eye. I'm very self critical, I think that's inherited, but I'm trying give myself a break. Therefore I will try to enjoy "naps" once in awhile.
I am always yawning. I have trouble getting up and exercising, I love it when I do but getting to it is another story. I really liked zumba because I had to pay for it and I'm so very "tight" that I wouldn't miss exercise if I had to pay. I know that changing the way I eat and exercise and lose about 40 pounds it would do my brain good. I could stop analyzing and just lived contentedly.
Melissa tells me that just like in the book(Rebooting My Brain), sleep is needed for recovery and I'm not recovered as she reminds me. I feel like I should be but understand that there is no proof that after TBI there is "recovery" only a new way of living. So I guess I'm writing my own "recovery". I need to quit thinking things are "back to normal" because every time I do I get mad at how poorly I'm doing. I just need to be happy I'm here to be trying, getting tired of just being happy to be here also, but this too with time will change. I need to start pushing myself again but I'm not going to over do it. I can't because then I'll just be tired again, and I'm tried of being tired!! :)
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