I lost it last night. Leah and Jerome were meeting with her recruiter and I simply needed to know when her graduation week will be so that I can plan for it off. Jerome first was taking forever and a day to tell me what her job was simply because he really didn't understand it. On top of it he wouldn't tell me a specific date for graduating and he said she may not go on March 6 for sure either, it could change. Needless to say I was not happy. I walked down to her room. We talked about the job, I thought I understood what was gong on with that and when I asked her for the graduation date she told me they wouldn't know that for sure until 5 weeks before it. Then she proceeded to tell me I didn't need to come. This put me over the edge although I didn't lose it in front of her. I came back upstairs and proceeded to bitch at Jerome and Breanna. This only made it worse. I was very angry. Why does she do that to me?!?!
When I woke up this morning I thought I had what Jerome didn't understand about the job figured out and I had calmed down about her saying she didn't want me there.
I texted her recruiter and asked him what the date would be if everything went as expected and he said April 26. I had a date! Yay! Then i thought about why she would say that to me and I decided it is a defense mechanism from years ago. I think she is giving me permission not to go so that she can't get hurt if I am not in the best condition at her graduation. It cannot be her fault if I'm not good. I'm going to do my best to keep it together. I promised her.
I have answers now to my questions. I can't believe how much better I feel. I know it's not written in stone but I have dates I was not a spontaneous person preTBI and I'm definitely not now. Jerome and Leah both claim they told me that (April 26) but they never did specifically. They said probably March 6 then 7 1/2 weeks after that. First of all the 6th is in the middle of a week and how do they count the weeks. Too much incertainty for me. All Sgt Turner needed to do was give me a date and now I'm happy. I'm vey happy and proud of my little chica.
USAF, here we come!
By the way I didn't have the job figured out perfectly but Leah reexplained it to me today and shes happy.
Goodness knows this brain is not good but I do know what I need, I just need my family and life to cooperate 😀
