I wish my family would understand that im trying to not be impatient, I really am. I am trying to slow things down. I'm trying to wait, listen and learn. I really am. I sometimes think that ice been impatient so long that they assume and don't wait for me to have no reaction, they Aimee that im going to be negative immediately. Can a woman not be curious? I care and I'm trying to wait to be told things. Give me some credit please. Allow me to know. I can have it better, I promise.
Because I'm mainly using this as therapy and he will moot read this. Here goes. Jerome, you're an asshole, so treating me like a dumb person. Stop allowing my kits you be ssholes about telling me stuff. there, I feel better, maybe. I am supposed to now where everyone is going or where they are supposed to be but nobody tells me anything.
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Monday, December 25, 2017
Too long
When I started this blog, I thought I was going to use it to get better and show everyone how to be good to themselves. I knew it helped me. I must have thought I was good and didn't need it anymore because it has been well over a year, well over. I can't stop doing what works no matter how I'm feeling.
Today is Christmas 2017. I have slept 70% of the day. I took the day to just be. I forget to take the time to just be. I let my emotions of inadequacy affect how I spend my time. I feel like if I don't do this or I don't do that I'm a bad mom or wife or friend. No, I'm a bad one of those if I don't take time to take care of me.
I was a bit emotional yesterday simply because my family is changing and that's tough. Don't get me wrong, I love how my family is changing. Its a good change. My kids are turning into wonderful people.
I try not to let how MY life had changed interfere with OUR lives. I purposely try not to bring it up. I think it effects my abilities and how honest I'm willing to be with people. Example: I know I can't go and do like others and I need to accept that. There are more reasons than my brain why I can't do many things that I used to do such as money and time and the age of my kids. Christmas will probably never be like it was and that's ok. Christmas is still what it is in the big picture. Jesus was born and that's the only important thing. Without his miracle birth, life would not be with anything. Because of my need to be like Jesus, I'm a better person to live with and be around. Don't believe me? Ask Jerome and kids what I'm like when i forget to just let God, I'm not a nice person.
I was starting to do so much better that I sort of forgot how I get. There was an incident about a week ago that reminded me. I need to remember to take the time to figure out my emotions and go slow. I can't wait as long as I have to do that. I need to let things go and let life happen. Thanks for reading if you've read this but honestly I just need to write this down to get it out
Today is Christmas 2017. I have slept 70% of the day. I took the day to just be. I forget to take the time to just be. I let my emotions of inadequacy affect how I spend my time. I feel like if I don't do this or I don't do that I'm a bad mom or wife or friend. No, I'm a bad one of those if I don't take time to take care of me.
I was a bit emotional yesterday simply because my family is changing and that's tough. Don't get me wrong, I love how my family is changing. Its a good change. My kids are turning into wonderful people.
I try not to let how MY life had changed interfere with OUR lives. I purposely try not to bring it up. I think it effects my abilities and how honest I'm willing to be with people. Example: I know I can't go and do like others and I need to accept that. There are more reasons than my brain why I can't do many things that I used to do such as money and time and the age of my kids. Christmas will probably never be like it was and that's ok. Christmas is still what it is in the big picture. Jesus was born and that's the only important thing. Without his miracle birth, life would not be with anything. Because of my need to be like Jesus, I'm a better person to live with and be around. Don't believe me? Ask Jerome and kids what I'm like when i forget to just let God, I'm not a nice person.
I was starting to do so much better that I sort of forgot how I get. There was an incident about a week ago that reminded me. I need to remember to take the time to figure out my emotions and go slow. I can't wait as long as I have to do that. I need to let things go and let life happen. Thanks for reading if you've read this but honestly I just need to write this down to get it out
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