It has been ages since I blogged but here goes
I was in such a bad funk the last few weeks. Today I finally took time for myself and got a long overdue haircut. I feel so much better. I then went a little shopping and also bought the stuff needed for Christmas Eve supper. I'm in the mood now.
I think I'm afraid to take time to go to the grocery store or get my haircut or go shopping. I'm afraid that I won't be ok to do what needs to be done. I'm afraid I'll be over tired. I'm afraid I'll snap at my family. I'm afraid that I will be that monster again.
I think I am far enough out from the accident that I can know what is going to put me over the top and I should relax a bit and stop not doing things. I need to gain some confidence back. This uncertain woman is not me. I need to be me again, at least in that aspect. I understand I will never be who I was but I need to learn to be confident again.
I also need to make sure I'm giving myself enough credit and I need to make sure my family does too. They need to learn that I'm not breakable and when I get upset it's not just my being tired. People can legitimately get angry, is not always the TBI. I think they need to have confidence in me. That will only come if I stop being afraid.
So ready or not world, here I come, maybe... Lol
